Google does not hate me, Google is incapable of hate. It’s a gigantic corporate monolith that does not have feelings. Cool that it gets to donate to political campaigns though.

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Today I tried to sign up for Youtube TV.

During the sign up process, twice, they dissuaded me from signing up.

“Use a different account, you probably don’t want to use this G Suite corporate account. You won’t be able to get as many features on it.” I’m paraphrasing here.

I didn’t ask for a G Suite account! Google turned my GAFYD (Google Apps For Your Domain) account into this against my will, and since then they’ve treated me as someone operating a corporate enterprise who does not want cutting-edge consumer-facing features.

Also they disabled Reminders on my phone which is just about the stupidest thing.

I would adore a way to turn my G Suite account into a “yes this is at my domain but I’m just some dork you signed up for a product you then changed, please let me have family sharing and assistant features” kind of Google account.

Alternatively I may just have to divest myself of Google altogether, which sounds honestly difficult and awful. I’ve been using this magic grandfathered G Suite account for some 14 years. It’s got purchase history that Google won’t let me transfer. All my dark digital demons and ghosts live here, and FWIW they seem comfortable.